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Response: Value

September 12, 2010

Today, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to guest post on one of the very first healthy living blogs I started reading, long ago, before THS was even a thought in my mind, CarrotsNCake. You should definitely go check out what I have to say about how I found my healthy living philosophy and why it works for me!

carrotsncake

I’ve spoken quite a bit about the love I have for the healthy living blog community, and I can’t say thank you enough for the emails, tweets and comments I received today in response of this guest post today, as well as many other vulnerable posts I’ve shared in the past.  It is so amazing to know I have an encouraging group of people supporting me as I continue down my path to health, one decision at a time.

panel 4

On the panel I was a part of at the Healthy Living Summit [just a reminder, you can watch the panel and all the other presentations online now!] we had a lot of discussion on the good parts and the not so good parts of blogging.  We talked a bit about how to deal with criticism in the comments section, and we also talked about tone, humor, and sarcasm not always coming through in someone’s typing.  The internet has a funny way of disguising intention of the speaker.

Today, while reading through the comments on the guest post on Tina’s blog, I came across some words that made my heart hurt.  I thought about ignoring them.  I thought about commenting in response of them on Tina’s blog.  I thought about emailing the commenter.  But then I thought about the times I’ve seen other similar situations take place, and I thought that I should stick with my old stand-by theory – honesty is the best policy.

I want to make something clear, here.  I love Michelle.  I’m not anti-Michelle, and I don’t think you should be either.  Michelle is smart. Michelle is beautiful.  Michelle has written many a post in which I applaud and shout “Yippee!” and link to for several months after the fact.  Michelle is a valuable blogger and a valuable woman.  I adore Michelle.

I wanted to make that clear because I want to respond to her comment, and I don’t want you to think I am attacking her.  I don’t think she needs to be attacked.  At all.  Michelle has the right to believe what she wants, to write what she wants, to share what she wants, any way that she wants. And  I am thankful that she does so, because it leads for good discussion and time of explanation in my life.  It leads to FRIENDLY conversation and getting a better understanding of one another.

So, on to the comment.

THIS is a TRUE healthy living post. It’s not ‘rubber banding’ your food..it’s honest to goodness reflection. It’s real, raw, and down to earth. I adore this. FINALLY something on CnC which I go ‘yeah, that’s what it’s about’. Heather you are an amazing woman! Thank you for sharing your story and doing what you’re doing!

While I truly appreciate the kind words about my post, I need to share a few thoughts that came to my heart when I read this comment.

A) It’s true that my post is a healthy living post – but that doesn’t make any other post, or any other blogger, less “healthy living.”  Healthy living is a lot of different things to a lot of different people.  (did you see the “What health means to me” series on HealthyLivingBlogs.com? there are dozens of awesome posts from dozens of awesome bloggers!)  It’s one of the greatest things about our community that while we can all relate to one another, we are all unique and have different view points as well.  We all agree on some stuff and disagree on others – I think this is one of the coolest things about the community.

B) I can only wish to be a blogger in this community that doesn’t nurture negative comparison. Instead I want to encourage the celebration of the fact that there are so many healthy living blogs, and so many more being created every day!  I want to stand on my porch and cheer for the similarities and differences I find in blogs across the world wide web.  With streamers. And balloons. And maybe some mini cupcakes and red wine.

C)  Furthermore, EVERY.SINGLE.HUMAN on this planet is valuable. I URGE you from the depth of my heart to remind yourself of this often.  Every person is someone’s son or daughter.  Every blogger has a heart that can be broken, and feelings that can be hurt.  Every person who you think hates you, or that you can’t stand – old high school nemesis, the cranky lady at work, the ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend, the ex best friend who stole your boyfriend, the former fiancé, the sports star in the news for “bad stuff”, the reality television stars who you find annoying, the Politian of the “other” party, the people who have “done wrong to you” and who you have done wrong to – they are all valuable.  They all have two eyes you can look into, and they all have something good to offer to someone in this world – even if you can’t see it. I encourage you ALL who read this to take time to focus on the GOOD in people, even when it’s hard. Surround yourself with positivity and there will be no room for negativity.

D) YOU ARE VALUABLE.  You, reading this, right now, are valuable.  And I thank you – for being YOU.  Even, and especially, the parts that are not like me.

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40 Comments leave one →
  1. September 12, 2010 8:18 pm

    You are the most brilliant and well-spoken friend that I have. Love you.

    • September 12, 2010 8:22 pm

      Ditto what Julie said. You write and respond so eloquently and respectfully to everything.

      Thank God I have you in my life!

  2. September 12, 2010 8:21 pm

    If I wasn’t already clear on why you’re so special, now I’m certain. You are so wonderful.

  3. September 12, 2010 8:22 pm

    I love that picture of you and Julie 🙂 Beautiful!
    Thank you for being YOU.

  4. September 12, 2010 8:26 pm

    Gracious and honest response. And I agree with you completely.

  5. September 12, 2010 8:27 pm

    I think there is this thing going on now – a little traditional healthy living blogger backlash. I think it’s awesome that you pointed out that everyone is valuable. Every blogger who takes time and puts thought into posts has value too. Not everyone has to love it all, but it’s all valuable. Different things for different people, right?

    • September 12, 2010 8:45 pm

      I totally agree with Hangry Heather…if you take time to post it’s valuable no matter what! Such a great reminder.

  6. September 12, 2010 8:37 pm

    Beautifully written!!!!!

  7. September 12, 2010 8:45 pm

    I want to shout from the rooftops: YES!

  8. September 12, 2010 9:10 pm

    Thank you so much for writing this post. To me healthy living is all about living a long happy life and the only way to really do that is to love yourself and who you are. Each of us is special and valuable and has something to say. We just need to learn to respect one another in every aspect of life. Maybe it’s a bit idealist, but I for one think that it wouldn’t be much fun to read the same thing in every blog over and over again.

    • September 13, 2010 4:19 am

      Exactly. I agree with this 100% 🙂

      ps. As you probably already know, I really loved your post on CnC Heather. You are such a great writer and remind me every day that healthy isn’t just about what I eat and that my blog doesn’t have to just be about posting food photos all the time. Thanks.

  9. September 12, 2010 10:09 pm

    I thought your guest post on CnC was fabulous, as I think this post is fabulous. You’re so right … we ALL bring something special to the table.

  10. September 12, 2010 10:52 pm

    Just another reason why you’re my girlfriend.

  11. September 12, 2010 11:13 pm

    Hi Heather! I’ve been following your blog for a while now and I have to say I am truly inspired! I look forward to reading more of your posts. By the way, I’m teaming up with you if your 2010 Homemade Christmas Gifts project! Sounds more exciting than being broke! Follow my blog – but pardon me, it’s kinda brand new and….a little plain looking.

  12. September 12, 2010 11:14 pm

    sorry it’s not at wordpress. It’s http://laughandcook.blogspot.com

  13. September 13, 2010 5:41 am

    Heather, your post gave me chills. Thanks for a wonderful guest post and this post. You rule.

  14. September 13, 2010 7:26 am

    This was plain awesome. Loved it!

  15. September 13, 2010 7:26 am

    Beautiful response. I agree that our differences make us beautiful. And help us to learn from each other as well.

  16. September 13, 2010 7:42 am

    I’m going to knock door to door and notify everyone in your little town how lucky they are to have such an amazing human being living down the street. Just so you know.

  17. Tiffany (stuffedwithfluff) permalink
    September 13, 2010 8:07 am

    I’m new to your blog (caught your guest post on CNC) and I just wanted to let you know that you have a beautiful way with words. This was such a beautiful response.

    Thanks so much for this post. Looking forward to your future posts. And thank you for reminding us that we are all valuable =)

  18. September 13, 2010 8:09 am

    Heather I enjoyed your post on CNC and I loved this one today! I agree that Healthy Living means so many things and we may not all identify with every single blogger, which is why you need to find the ones that speak to you!

  19. September 13, 2010 8:25 am

    Thank you for writing this. I think it’s good for me to be ‘put into my place’. I think what you’ve, once again written, is of extreme value and insight into the balanced person that you are. That is why I enjoy reading your blog and thinking about what you’ve written. I do think, however, that if you don’t agree with what someone is doing..then it’s ok to say it to them. I do HOWEVER agree that respect is important in addressing someone, which may not have come across in the comment that I left inregards to CnC. Apolgies all around..but for the guest post that you’ve written and this one..thank you.

  20. September 13, 2010 8:35 am

    If Michelle doesn’t enjoy what she’s reading on CarrotsNCake why does she continue to read it? Why does anyone read a blog they don’t enjoy? It’s silly. I don’t read books by authors I don’t enjoy and I don’t read blogs that bore me. It’s simple. You don’t need to trash someone just because their blog isn’t your style. There are a lot of blogs to choose from out there. Read those.

  21. A Side of Simple permalink
    September 13, 2010 9:31 am

    It’s so true that there are MANY forms of healthy living. Everyone is different and we can all learn from each other here and there and adapt to what works best for us. I think it’s a constant journey. Thanks for embracing YOUR journey, Heather!

  22. September 13, 2010 10:08 am

    You rock, dear. Plain and simple!

  23. actorsdiet permalink
    September 13, 2010 10:23 am

    *APPLAUSE* to you, and all of us bloggers, healthy living or not!

  24. Roz permalink
    September 13, 2010 11:12 am

    If I could give you a standing ovation, I would! Fantastic post!!!

  25. Chelsea @ Strawberry Sweat permalink
    September 13, 2010 11:27 am

    Can I hear a big “YES!”?!!

    I love this post. When I first started reading healthy living blogs, I was initially off put by them, because of some negative comments I would see and a post by a blogger who was saying that a lot of HLB were “sucking” and that she knew (and was giving tips) about how to make them not “suck.” Luckily, I found many healthy living blogs that embodied ALL types of healthy living, and that made me feel like I could be part of the group. I totally agree that we want (and need) to foster an all-inclusive community where we see the inherent worth in everyone, even if their views on life, healthy living, religion, politics, etc., don’t fit with ours.

    Fantastic post Heather!!

  26. September 13, 2010 11:39 am

    I really enjoyed reading this. I definitely agree!

  27. September 13, 2010 11:51 am

    WHat a great response – I love this community and I’m glad there are people like you out there that speak the truth. Thank you!

  28. September 13, 2010 12:29 pm

    I love, love, love this post. There is too much anger in this world and people often forget to see the good in people. And I love this community, too!
    (And I’m not the Michelle who left the comment, I swear!)

    • September 13, 2010 12:47 pm

      Thanks, Michelle.

      Something super cool; the Michelle who left the comment on Tina’s blog did actually respond to this post. I think it’s very noble of her to not get angry that I spoke about her comment, to embrace my words, and to share her response with me, here, too.

      I am a big Michelle fan, obviously.

      *Heather Shugarman* http://thenheathersaid.com twitter.com/thenheathersaid HLB Admin – http://healthylivingblogs.com

  29. Kristen permalink
    September 13, 2010 12:45 pm

    Hi Heather!
    I just read your post on CNC and I want to say you REALLY hit it home with me today! I have been struggling the past week with choosing the right foods, getting up off the couch, and getting enough sleep. But you are completely right, that today is a new day. Who cares what we ate yesterday or if we didnt get to the gym. Also working out does not have to be “at the gym” or lunges. keep up the awesome work! and I hope I can continue to follow you!

    (ps. you are SOO positive. I hope it can be sent to me over the internet hahah)

  30. September 13, 2010 1:02 pm

    This was very beautiful! Great work!

  31. September 13, 2010 1:30 pm

    I just found your blog. What an amazing post and an amazing attitude. I definitely feel uplifted (the goal of every blogger, no? 🙂 )

  32. September 13, 2010 1:41 pm

    You made me go from =/ mehhhhhh to = ) weeeeeee. I heart you, your writing style, and pureee wonderfulness.

  33. September 13, 2010 3:02 pm

    amazing post.

  34. September 13, 2010 3:10 pm

    Loved this! Every HLB has something valuable to contribute and share. I read about 250 blogs and I learn something different from each of them. I love the diversity in our community.

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