Skip to content

More Than: Cynthia of It All Changes

August 13, 2010

While Heather is busy having the time of her life in Chicago, enjoy this More Than Series Guest post by Cynthia of It All Changes.

Not familiar with the More Than Series?  It all started when I realized that while nutrition and fitness are an important part of living a healthy lifestyle, there was a void in the healthy living blogger community focusing on other parts of healthy living.  Healthy Living is MORE THAN nutrition & fitness.  To learn more, check out the More Than Series tab and the several posts written by other guest bloggers. 

 

In many ways I don’t feel qualified to write this post.  Some days I don’t feel valuable to myself or anyone.  That is the reason I am writing.  To remind myself my value does not come from my weight, my clothing size or my appearance.  My value comes from who I am and those things I value most.  When I stopped caring about merely the physical I realized my life was more valuable than the external.

I was loved as a child…Daddy’s little princess and Momma’s little angel.  As an adolescent I allowed others to determine my value with their comments.  I had gained weight and was the butt of every fat joke that could enter the teenage mind.  I believed I was worthless because I couldn’t shop at the popular stores or have the most fashionable hair and make up.  I truly felt worthless. 

Looking for my value in others lead me to devalue myself.  I no longer cared about myself and ate to mask the emotions of self-loathing and fear I felt.  The food was my source of comfort so I could still put on the happy Cynthia smile everyone expected.

danny

I struggled on an off with depression and self worth throughout high school and college.  I mistreated my body in many ways too numerous to count, to the point that I was over 270 pounds and miserable.  I had let everyone else determine if I was valuable.

When I graduated college and began my full-time job, I started attending my church on a more regular basis.  I developed a strong friendship with my pastors (a husband and wife team) who told me regularly how much they valued my friendship and support.  At first I didn’t understand what they saw in me because my eyes were closed to anything good about myself. Through their persistence of building me up I learned that they loved me.  Their support made them a natural fit as matron of honor and minister for my wedding.  They valued me not because of any of the outward things they said gave me value…but because I was me…a child loved by God. 

In one year they helped rebuild my self-esteem along with the help of a good counselor.  Through this process I discovered what I valued in me and others.  

I value:

-  My faith that grounds me in the love of God.

-  The opinions of those around me to help me to grow.

-  My own feelings and how my actions affect the feeling of others.

-  My family and friends who love me as me.

-  The job I do and striving to be better each day. 

-  Moving forward instead of back as I make the best decisions for myself.

In others I value:

  • Trustworthiness. 
  • Support through any situation.
  • Challenges…not just agreeing blindly.
  • Love…for self and for others.
  • A smile.  It brightens the day.

Once I found value in myself and others I felt complete.  I valued myself and my life enough to take care of my physical health.  I valued my health enough to not crash diet as I had done so often in the past.  I valued who I was each and every day as I made decisions to be all that I could be (GO ARMY!).  Feeling valuable lead me to reach my ultimate goal weight and continue to maintain my health and fitness for the long-term.
Back to it 006
Health was more than being thin or fit…it was about being complete and valuable.

 

dc-pics-017

You can learn more about Cynthia’s journey to her happy weight, by reading about Her Journey, and checking out her Before & After photos.  Also, be sure to check out what Cynthia is up to these days by keeping up with her awesome blog, It All Changes

You can also see what Cynthia is thinking in 140 Characters or less by following her twitter feed.

Advertisements
2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 14, 2010 9:53 am

    I can relate to Cynthia’s story SO much.

Trackbacks

  1. I Am More Than… | It All Changes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: