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Celebrate Irony

July 13, 2010

 jenna cole bnw

We had gathered together at my parents house July of 2009. 
Mary, Danielle, Kelly and myself. 
Plus my sister, Melissa, and my mom.  A weekend of girly.  A weekend of friendship and love. A weekend of celebration. A weekend of to-do. 
Jenna Cole photo shoot, Bridal Tea, crafting centerpieces and invitations, making lists upon lists, eating at the kitchen table, drinking in the living room, talking into the wee hours of the night, and a snazzy tiara topped Bachelorette Night out on the town. 

I didn’t have a wedding, but I had a bridal party.  I didn’t have a wedding, but we sipped tea and played shower games.  I didn’t have a wedding, but I had a night of wearing a tiara and leading a conga line.  I didn’t have a wedding, but I planned a wedding. I didn’t have a wedding, but I had found a dress, made invitations and made 1000 tiny decisions and then 1000 more. I didn’t have a wedding, but I have the memory of this fabulous weekend in D-town, with the girls who live in Houston, and Denver, and St. Paul and who all traveled several hours to be with me.     


We were sitting in the office, spread out between the two desks, and sprawled across the floor. I had brought something special from New York that I thought these ladies would have fun with.  I had brought the elusive green books.  We were working on construction of the invitations.  Putting together the last pieces of the suite, stuffing the envelopes and copying the addresses from the master copy of the spread sheet.  Danielle was flipping through the original EGB when she found a real gem hidden in the pages.  A list I had added while in college titled “Reasons Why I Will Never Get Married.” Danielle’s interpretive reading of the list brought a general teasing pointed in my direction, pausing for effect and waiting for the giggles to pass on lines which often stated humorous, seemingly bitter post-Bridget Jones Diary reading attitude.  Oh, the irony.  I was getting married in just six weeks.  Here we were celebrating the upcoming ceremony together.  Here we were adding stamps to the corner of each envelope to go in the mail just a few days later.  Here we were laughing at how naive and foolish I had been just a few years earlier; to assume, playfully or not that I would never marry, hilarious! ridiculous! just look at me now! 


just look at me now.


We were sitting in Jen’s office, today, during lunch.  Eating a catered lunch together, the three women in the office.  Enjoy one another’s company.  Enjoy one another’s stories.  We started discussing the engagement of a co-worker, and soon the stories shifted to how these two wonderful woman found themselves ready to marry their husbands.  We talked about differences.  We talked about similarities.  I pointed out that they were both completely perfect.  Neither story was ridiculously overdone or romantic.  Neither of the stories had the word “proposal” or the asking of the question “Will you marry me.”  But both story was uniquely perfect for the couple whose story it was.

I didn’t share my story.  I don’t have a husband, but I was asked the question.  I don’t have a marriage, but I said yes.  I don’t have a “Mrs.” before my name, but I have the memories.  Calling my parents, and closest friends.  Toasting with a clank of two lemon drop shot glasses, as my roommate Kelly told everyone we saw that night that he and I were just engaged. Sitting with my fiancé, and our “Maidpft of Honor” and Best Man. 

moh engagementnight  

Excitement all around and so much sparkle. 

I don’t have a husband or a new last name, but in hearing these stories from these wonderful women today, in the middle of my work day, over a plate of food from the best local deli, helped me to remember the good times associate with the engagement.  The friends and the celebration.  The congratulations and the toasts.  The excitement and the newness. The designing an invitation suite and deciding on a font.  The feeling special every time someone called me bride. 

Hearing these stories helped me to remember that I don’t need to rush it.  I don’t need to want it.  I don’t need to wish for it.  That when it’s right, it’s right.  It will be right no matter what it looks like in comparison to others’ relationships or other relationships of my own.  Just as it’s right now, in this moment, for me to be single and to be celebrating that I’m single.  It’s right.


I was sitting at my pretend office, this evening; the corner table near the outlet at the coffee shop I frequent.  I had my headphones in as I was responding to emails and watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip on Netflix Instant Streaming.  I wasn’t paying much attention to what was going on around me until the episode ended.  Then I looked to my right, just as I overheard the wedding coordinator confirm that they were just under 6 weeks away from the wedding, as they moved on to a list of details to confirm.  A wreath debate, an order of who is ushering who down the aisle, a discussion on a desired length of ceremony.  A bride, a groom, a coordinator.


I chuckled out loud, on accident. I chuckled out loud at the thought of six weeks until wedding. When she looked over her shoulder, I pretended to be giggling at something Amanda Peet just said.  Just look at me now. It’s right.  

4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 13, 2010 9:11 pm

    those pictures that jenna took? AHHHHMMMAAAZZIINNGGGG.

  2. July 13, 2010 11:04 pm

    This is also so amazing. Your willingness to look at positives in any situation both amazes and inspires me. Always. I sure do love you and I love those weekend memories.

  3. July 14, 2010 12:15 am

    Wow, my friend. Wow. You have such a wonderful attitude. Your strength encourages me.

  4. July 14, 2010 2:49 pm

    Um, I want a girlfriends photo shoot. Like right now.

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